This is a screen capture of my earlier tweets. At Ann’s urgings, I decided to blog about it instead of just tweeting my thoughts on the matter.
I don’t typically blog about pop culture. Pop culture is not my forte. I am not comfortable commenting on anything pop-culture-related. I am breaking my rule for this, though.
I just read about Slim Thug’s comments on Twitter. It was trending, but I ignore trending topics, so I didn’t read about it until someone retweeted the link to Clutch Magazine’s response.
In all honesty, my first response was apathy. I made a crack: “LMBO I didn’t even know who Slim Thug was, but having seen his pic, I can attest that his name is an utter lie.” But I re-read the title of the Clutch Magazine article entitled “Slim Thug Launches Verbal Attack on Black Women.” That gave me pause. I gave the article a quick glance, and reached the conclusion that it was an emotional tirade and not a reasoned argument that would be worth my time, so I closed that tab. No one can make you angry without your consent. I do not invalidate Geneva S. Thomas’ anger by saying this.
One person on Twitter even went so far as to say that Slim Thug’s comments were worse than John Mayer’s. This piqued my interest. For years now, I’ve rejected the notion that Black men have the right to define Black women’s identities and potential. Yes, African-American women overwhelmingly date intra-racially, but this does not mean that we can expect blanket acceptance and affirmation from all Black men. Black women are not a monolith. Black men are not a monolith.
I recognize that John Mayer’s comments reverberate differently- as a white man he occupies a very privileged place in this racist, sexist society. His comments reflect his presumed “right” to comment on the desirability of Black women’s bodies as though sexual conquest was his “right” regardless of consent or reciprocity. In the same line of thought, Slim Thug’s comments on the desirability of Black women (he excludes biracial or multi-racial Black women, it seems). He brings into question the perceived femininity of Black women when he states:
“My girl is Black and White. I guess the half White in her is where she still cooks and do all the shit I say, so we make it. She just takes care of me and I like that.” He continues to half humiliate and half praise his half White girl. “She don’t be begging and I don’t gotta buy her all this crazy ass shit. And she’s a smart girl too. She graduated from Columbia and I like that about her so its cool.” [Vibe]
He’s talking about a very narrow conception of femininity that is predicated on the notion of women as “subordinate” to man. The ideal woman he refers to fits the mold of the 1950s- middle-class, educated, yet subservient- and white. She cooks and does whatever he says! I’m sure you’ve heard the myth of “pliable” white women who bend over backwards to please their man. I’ve heard it from my mother over the years- especially when a high-profile Black man married a white woman. See, I never understood that, as most of the white women I knew were just like my mother- independent-minded, intelligent, and a whole host of traits that are not necessarily coded “female.” Of course, I don’t mean to say that “Black women are just like white women.” It would be wrong to say that Black women and white women have nothing in common. There are common experiences that accompany being a woman, even if those experiences are stratified by race, class, disability and sexual orientation.
Anyhow, I thought it was strange that Slim Thug referred to his (unnamed?) girlfriend’s Black and White halves as separate entities. His Manichean logic in regards to race and identity strikes me as deeply ignorant. But really, I might be expecting too much from Stayve Jerome Thomas.
As for the outrage I saw on Twitter, I had 3 objections to it:
1) The presumed collective anger implies acceptance of Black women as a monolith.
The title of the Clutch Magazine article, “Slim Thug launches Verbal Attack on Black Women” told me everything I needed to know. See, even before I read the article or Slim Thug’s comments, I knew that he was speaking about me, because he was talking about Black women in generalized terms. I am NOT the “monolithic Black woman.” Black women come from all sorts of backgrounds and experiences. Black women span the entire African diaspora- not just the United States. Black women are not only working-class, but we are also middle-class, upper-middle class and even wealthy. Black women come in all shapes, sizes and shades, and we are all beautiful. This same “monolithic Black woman” is the woman news outlets and politicos love to attack with charges of perpetual singleness, unwed motherhood and welfare queendom. They are talking primarily about working-class Black women in monoracially segregated areas where the War on Drugs has played a role in incarcerating a rather sizeable percentage of Black men. The presumption is that “good” Black men are scarce [as if employing economic concepts on dynamic individuals is acceptable], and Black women are a devalued commodity due to their abundant supply.
So, of course, as a college-educated, middle-class, disabled Black woman who is one generation removed from poverty in both East St. Louis and Southwest Mississippi, I cannot say I fit this mold.
2) The outrage is predicated on the acceptance of the voice of the likes of Slim Thug as a voice of authority
I had never heard of Slim Thug until today. I don’t lend him any credence. I do not care what he has to say about Black women. What matters to me is that Black women and girls know their own worth outside of Black social constructs- which brings me to my third point:
3) This shows me the limitations of Black women’s affirmation and self-definition within a patriarchal society.
Slim Thug’s comments polarize the dual racial identities of his girlfriend as though they are opposing or mutually exclusive. He conflates white womanhood with servility and agreeability, while casting Black women as belligerent, too-independent, demanding and self-centered.
If Black women define themselves by what Black men think of them, they limit their potential. It’s no wonder that the first step to liberation for colonized nations was self-definition. Self-definition requires individual agency. Individual agency requires the recognition of others’ individuality as well as your own. It requires the affirmation of that individuality as well. If your body does not fit conventional aesthetic standards, don’t fight to fit them- redefine beauty. God made you the way you are- not man. Man ought not have the power to define who you normatively SHOULD be. That power is ascribed tacitly by ignorance and complacency [I say this very carefully, mind you]. A patriarchal society does not require the dynamic permission of those living within it. I didn’t ask to be labeled “Black” “female” or “disabled.” I certainly did not label myself as such. I guess what I’m trying to say is- don’t depend on others- men, women, Black, white, Asian, Hispanic, whatever- for affirmation and identification. You are who you are.
I am irreducibly human.
I am more than the hands that produce, more than the body that functions.
I am more than the systemic constructions of my sex and race.
I am more than the atomized individual that society makes me out to be.
I am more than the voice denied, the body objectified, the soul belittled.
I am not a nameless, faceless entity who can be stripped of my personhood and agency.
I am God’s beloved creation. [originally posted here]
I wrote this poem in July 2009, and I think it is apt today.
Alright, I had a chance to read Slim thug’s article and the clutch magazine article and yours of course.
I have no problem/issue with how Black women choose to define themselves. However Slim Thug’s underlying message had little to do with black female identification and moreso to do with interactions within black relationships..and this is the underlying point.
Granted, his mention of his girlfriend’s ethnicity as what makes her behave properly within his context of a r/ship was really unecessary and quite ignorant but it still didn’t blind my eyes to the point he was trying to make which is that there’s something wrong with the way black men and women relate to each other and this causes problems in our romantic r/ships.
This is the point that many women who are “outraged” are missing. Also, the whole “Slim thug is irrelevant” schtick needs to be dropped. If he was irrelevant he wouldn’t have been discussed as heavily for one. Two, if this were more about what kind of music he made then artists such as Talib Kweli and Common should be richer than Jay-Z by now.
I think we’re approaching this at two different angles. When I say Slim Thug is irrelevant, I’m referring to him as the deliverer of this message. It could be anyone else or any hip hop song, for that matter.
If Slim Thug wanted to talk about relationships, he should have spoken about relationships. You know: how it takes two to tango, how black men are at fault, how black women are at fault, how black men can do better, how black women can do better.
But he didn’t. He said two things which put it all into perspective for me.
“Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less.”
And why should Black women settle? Because, as Slim Thug says, “We’re [Black men] important.”
Which implies that Black men are more important than the running around of Black women. According to Slim Thug. And most of the relationships between Black men and women today.
Mmm. I agree with you mostly.
I recognize my failure to address the entirety of the interview, within its context- the culture of masculinity in hip hop, and how femininity is understood.
I’d still say that how Black women identify themselves plays a big part in how they relate to Black men. Yes, our identities and relationships are broken. I’ve heard Black women talking about how they don’t “need” a man. What you say usually has some truth to it, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Women who talk negatively about the men in their lives likely talk negatively about themselves- or even- their self-worth is built upon the precarious notion that they are “better” than someone else. On the same token, I’ve heard Black men list the inadequacies of Black women while being willfully blind to their faults. No one is perfect.
Either way, it’s a fractured idenitity that shows itself in fractured relationships.
I agree that women (regardless of race) should value men, affirming them and respecting them. This is conditional, of course. The ideal state would be a reciprocal, respectful and loving relationship where both parties are respected, affirmed and loved in the manners that the require. I’m not saying that when one person fails to fully respect the other that the other has the right to be disrespectful back- no, that’s how we got here in the first place.
I grew up in a home where I heard “men are dogs.” This was reified in my relationships early on- my uncle molested me, I was assaulted at school… etc etc etc. I truly began to believe that all men are dogs. It took me 9 years to let go of that, and I’m still working on that. I have to work to respect the men in my life. This is why in my other writings, I emphasise the protection of our daughters, nieces, granddaughters, etc- especially on the part of men. This is not an unreasonable request. Women and girls have a right to bodily safety, and they deserve the protection of male family figures from predators. The failure of our men to protect our daughters contributes to this distrust of men among Black women. This is in addition to uncritical acceptance of misogyny in hip hop music/culture among Black men.
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And yes, since my other blogs focus on race, I gravitated to that one particular passage, and before I knew it, I was at 1400 words.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Arrianna & Ann I thank you for putting all emotion aside and having mature discourse/debate.
As a matter of fact Arri (if I may call you that :-) ), you made the underlying point for I and Slim thug (inadvertently) which is respect. What I noticed when I re-read his article was he himself had already offered an interesting insight into the problem of black r/ships which was attitude.
Notice his first sentence: “The way Black people think in general is messed up. Both men and women need to change their way of thinking”
This was key. I think the major problem he faced was he couldn’t elucidate this underlying issue – RESPECT. Which you brought up so eloquently. It is the main crux of the matter here. The fact that black men lack respect for black women and vice versa is the real problem.
Once we respect each other many of the name-calling and mud-slinging will cease. Respect must be given and earned..because if I respect you I will hold you in high regard, I will more than likely choose not to cheat on you if given an opportunity nor even put myself in that position to do so, if I respected you I wouldn’t call you choice names, if I respected you I’d listen to you and I believe this was what Slim Thug was trying to say in his own terms of “black women need to stand by their man more” meaning black women need to respect their man esp. when he has earned that respect by his behavior, his focus and his vision.
@Ann: I honestly think what Slim was trying to say was that some black women or maybe most since we’re generalizing here is that expectations of what they want in a man are unrealistic for starters and secondly, what they’re demanding in and out of men they themselves are not offering anything similar or bringing that much substance which they’re requiring to the table either. Like you said, its got to be even and square, fair is fair. If you’re demanding for instance that I be the breadwinner of our home, then by golly you can’t sit there and tell me you don’t want to take care of said home..it won’t work.